the book of revelations

i have about 15 mins to write this entry. after this i'll study pedia.

i find it senseless to reiterate my thoughts on this blog when i tell my friends every "significant" tidbit in my life. kate, marja, tin & teng, betty, even peeble and van are my human diaries.. i thank them for being around me, although sometimes they don't really pay attention to what i say (because i drift most of the time--flight of ideas?). but since i started this thing and there's really not much to do (yeah, right) yet, might as well get on with the show.

perhaps i won't write much about sjoberg from now on. i've learned that he has kidS, an 11-year old daughter who goes to ICA, who's tall and dark and looks like her dad. who's english-speaking, and perhaps a brainiac like her parents. too bad for me, who's dreaming (lusting, actually) to have a son by him, although i want to have a daughter named Hiraya Sofia Kho. i guess the kilig and the excitement died down when i heard from dra. niu-kho's mouth that they have kids. i don't covet another's husband when they have kids. hindi naman ako ganon kasama kahit na ilusyonada. tsaka it takes the spice out of the illusion. mahirap hiwalayan si misis kung alam mong may link sila. babae pa naman ang anak.

ito na siguro ang huli. like i told bevs, hindi ko na sya ip-pursue. and besides, as if naman magkakatotoo ang wish ko na maging kami. hindi nya ko type. at NEVER syang papatol sakin. ni matuwa nga sakin, i highly doubt it. ordinaryong mamamayan lang ako sa kanya. plain and simple. hindi naman ako standout e. masyado lang akong ma-feeling at binigyan ko ng sariling dictionary ang nudge at hawak nya, pati ang pagtawag nya ng kuya kay ninin. umepal lang naman ako kaya ako front and center pag wards. pero in all honesty, masarap ang feeling ng epal sa kanya. if i can relive those moments all over again, i'd do it.

tigang na tigang na ko. i feel the loneliness of having no one to smile at, nothing to look forward to. kaya siguro many times i feel out of order. i miss seeing him, pero pag anjan na hindi ko alam ang gagawin ko. parang walang saysay ang nichido, elseve & ralph lauren pag walang sjoberg na mang-aamoy at makakakita.

kilala pa kaya nya ko? ano kaya ang impression nya sakin. malamang menial. pero sana may naiwan din naman akong katuwa-tuwang impression sa isip nya.

hay sjoberg... di ako in-love sayo pero gusto kita, sobra. if there would be a way, even if not in this lifetime, i would like to know you more and be with you.

Teng: kung maging second wife ka ni sjoberg, payag ka?
Pinky: oo.
Teng: di nga, seryoso?
Pinky: oo nga.